Sometimes these feelings can take over and lead to anxiety towards the situation, group or individual that made you feel bad.
It’s ok, and actually very healthy to feel sad when someone wrongs you. The danger comes in holding grudges. Although very normal, grudges may start out small at first, but can build into something quite overwhelming and feelings of helplessness prevail.
Without forgiveness, you have actually allowed the other person’s wrongdoing to seep inside of you, causing pain from the inside out. Your life could become so wrapped up in the negativity that you stop living in the present and lose your healthy connections with others.
Forgiveness is not easy. It takes a lot of strength and courage to pardon someone that has caused you grief. Sometimes it is helpful to consider the situation from the other person’s point of view. Why did he/she react this way? What in the past could have prompted him/her to take insecurities out on you?
Personally, I find it useful to keep in mind that no one is perfect and that every individual has issues to deal with. Another suggestion is to think of a time when you may have caused harm to someone else. Learning to accept people’s shortcomings and understanding that the majority of people in the world are innately good can help as well.
According to the Mayo Clinic,
“Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change.”
Here are some of their thoughts:
- Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
- Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
- When you’re ready, actively choose to forgive the person who’s offended you
- Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life
The Healing Center provides counseling, group therapy and other support services. All of our services are free, as we believe that everyone, regardless of inability to pay, deserves the help they need. To learn more about our services, please visit our website.